As I wrote last week, Project Davy is underway and day one of our night stay is in the books. Project Davy, if you are late to the party, is the code name for getting Davy home THIS WEEK! The operation was commenced by commanding officer, Neonatologist, Auburn enthusiast and all around Renaissance Man, Dr. Kelley.
Yesterday evening, Chelsea and I packed up our stuff and headed to the hospital so we could “room in” with Davy girl. “Rooming in” is where you stay at the hospital to create a transitional space for your baby to enter into their new world of actually going home with you. It also is a safe space for parents to acclimate to the medical support they are going to have to give the baby when they get home while still receiving assistance from the medical staff.
So we put our bags in room A of the NICU, wheeled Davy’s crib into the room, and the nurses said “good luck”! Ok, it didn’t quite go down like that, but at times it seemed that way as I fumbled around trying to assume the role of a psuedo-functioning adult called dad! The nursing team did wheel Davy in to our room and then we started our crash course training in feeding, administering medicine and just operating like a (somewhat) normal family (do those even exist?).
Night one was exciting, exhausting, humbling and surreal.
It was exciting because it was the beginning of a new adventure for us as a family. The same level of excitement that pulsates through you as your embark on a new marriage with your spouse. It’s exciting because it’s new. It’s exciting because there is so much to explore. There is so much to discover about Davy as we learn to live life alongside of her and not just from a sanitized distance.
It was not only exciting, but it was exhausting as well. Chelsea and I slept a total of 16 minutes…mayyyybe…17 minutes all night. It was like Davy had an innate sense that we were actually sleeping in the same room as her for the very first time and she wanted to initiate us into parenthood. What we’ve missed as new parents for the last four months, mainly the sleepless nights, it seemed as if she was trying to catch us up on all that we missed! She was fussy most of the night due in part to some changes we made to her feeding and meds, along with the fact that she was in a new environment. However, even the late night cry sessions were special moments. I kept reminding myself in my sleep deprived stupor, that there were months were my soul ached to hear the cries of my baby girl. As I rocked her to sleep I would thank God that my precious girl was alive and that it was a gift and a blessing to give up sleep for her.
The night was also humbling in a real and comedic way. First off, nurses … (insert slow clap)… you are incredible. Night nurses, you definitely don’t get enough credit! All evening I was joking, as one of our primary night nurses – Franchesca- taught Chels and I the ropes, that they might as well give me my nursing license because I felt pretty confident about my skills! However, I wasn’t nearly as confident in a state of delirium at 3am. Then our Heavenly Father was extremely gracious to me through a reminder that pride comes before the fall (Proverbs 16:18) when I exploded Davy’s medicine all over the room because I pushed the syringe to hard! Ha! #humbled #takingnotes #nursesareawesome
Lastly, the night was surreal. It was a night I had only painted in my hopes and dreams. Chelsea and I were acting as the primary care takers of our daughter and were going to be sleeping (well…attempting to sleep!) in the same room for the night. It wasn’t quite as surreal as things will be when we actually get her home, but it was a very close second!
Jesus is Better
In reflection on the night, the Lord threaded my attention back to one thing – a post I had written titled, “Jesus is Better”. The post was written the day after the prayer gathering we held to intercede on behalf of Davy and her healing.
That night my brother and friend, Jimmy McNeal, sang a song in which I titled the blog after, Jesus is Better. The chorus soars to the heavenly realm of eternal truth with the lyrics,
In all my sorrows – Jesus is better, make my heart believe
In every vict’ry – Jesus is better, make my heart believe
Than any comfort – Jesus is better, make my heart believe
More than all riches – Jesus is better, make my heart believe
Our souls declaring – Jesus is better, make my heart believe
Our song eternal – Jesus is better, make my heart believe.
The night of the prayer gathering I was desperately crying out in my sorrows, asking God to help my heart believe that Jesus was better than that pain.
The day after rooming in I was crying out in my joy, asking God to help my heart believe that Jesus was better than this victory.
Because, you know what’s even more amazing than our healthy daughter? Our sacrificed and conquering Savior.
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16). This truth is better than every sorrow or victory. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Cor. 5:21). This truth is better than every comfort or all riches.
We were dead in our sins and were headed towards eternal destruction. But God was abundantly rich in mercy and sent his son to die on our behalf. To take OUR sins! To give us HIS perfection! He died brutally on a cross, but did not stay dead. Death could not hold him. On the third day he rose and then ascended to the right hand of the Father. In Christ, we are raised up with him and seated in the heavenly places, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness towards us in Christ Jesus.
Then one day, He is coming back. He who is Faithful and True. He, who on his robe and his thigh has a name written, King of kings and Lord of lords. He won’t come to earth as a weak child, but as a conquering King to mend all that is broken in the world. Then everything that is sad will come untrue.
So even though the night rooming was a victory in a season of much sorrow – Jesus is still better.
Cheers to a second surreal night of excitement, exhaustion, a (hopefully) more humble posture and a lifetime of pursuing the truth that Jesus is better.